Joy is not only a feeling we wait for, but a practice we can choose. By approaching joy as a discipline, we tend the inner flame that softens grief and helps us feel more fully alive.
Most of us think of joy as something fleeting; a gift of circumstance. We wait for the right moment, the right success, the right company. But what if joy could be cultivated as a discipline: a practice we return to, even when life feels heavy?
For me, this practice arises out of necessity. Sadness has accompanied me since childhood, rooted in a deep awareness of my sister’s limitations and the grief of seeing her unable to do many things that came easily to me. This grief runs deep, and at times it feels bottomless. And yet, within that awareness also lives a choice: to carry joy alongside sorrow.
Practicing joy as a discipline doesn’t mean denying sadness. It means creating rhythms that invite joy into daily life:
- Attention: noticing beauty, however small; a bird call, a warm mug, the colour of the sky.
- Expression: giving ourselves permission to smile, to laugh, to move our bodies in ways that feel good.
- Connection: seeking out people and places that nourish us.
- Gratitude: naming aloud what we appreciate, even in difficult times.
Discipline sounds like duty, but here it is devotion; a steady tending of the flame within us. Joy is the fire that keeps us warm through the long nights. With practice, joy becomes not a rare visitor, but a familiar companion.
When we commit to joy as a discipline, we honour our wholeness. We discover that even in the midst of grief, we can cultivate a life that radiates light, warmth, and presence.